I’m constantly obsessing about how I can get everything done so I can be on top of stuff and spend more time doing what I want to do, even if that’s getting the proper amount of sleep at night. At the beginning of December, I wrote a post about taking time off from blogging so I could focus on getting things done and relaunching my blog in the new year. Then I deleted it because it didn’t feel right, but still have felt kind of off track with my blog and everything else.
This morning I gave myself some much overdue 750words.com time, which is where I write out my thoughts just for myself. It felt so good to allow myself the time to write for no specific reason other than to clear my mind.
I was writing about my longtime dream of getting my life together to the point that I get to spend my time doing what I want and was trying to figure out why I’m not further along with my goals. Then I thought about one of Julie Morgenstern’s books.
Something’s Gotta Go
In her book SHED Your Stuff, Change Your Life, Morgenstern describes a process that goes beyond organization and time management. It’s about dramatically transforming the way we live by making major changes in the stuff and activities we have held on to for years that take up physical space and time in our lives.
It’s what needs to be done when we are overwhelmed, when our lives are literally and figuratively bursting at the seams with stuff and things to do.
It’s hard for me to remember a time when my life wasn’t bursting at the seams with things to do. Things that need to be done – not just fun stuff. Ever since I started working I have been in this state of battle with my to-do lists.
I got out my personal to-do list with its nine things that have sat there for weeks, and in some cases months. Even before I looked at it, I already knew there wasn’t something on there that I could simply strike from the list. I mean, I could give up on the one entitled “plan Christmas”, but what would be the fun in that?
In the process of pulling up my list on my phone, the idea came to me that what I need to shed may not necessarily be actual things to do on my list. What if what I need to let go of is even less tangible than to-do’s, and more like my constant state of being?
Self-Talk: Helpful or Hurtful?
I’m talking about the negative self-talk that I often catch running circles through my mind. The Should’s, Not Enough’s, and What Will People Think’s in my life. Are they not depleting time, not to mention energy, from my bursting at the seams days?
I do yoga and meditate on most days, but what about the other 16 waking hours of the day? Over the past few weeks, I have been making myself more aware of what’s going on in my mind throughout the day that could potentially be holding me back.
I have read enough self-help to know that anything is possible and that I deserve to have everything in my life exactly the way I want it. So I know I can do this and I’m now more strongly than ever questioning what I’m doing to hold myself back from my big dreams.
I would certainly be better off meditating or taking a nap than going down the road of Not Good Enough, which is a road I’m often on. That road leads to an end to the day that feels exhausting and slightly unfulfilled, which is the opposite of my vision of the ideal day.
It’s interesting how the layer of our emotions influences our level of productivity so highly. When I’m feeling good, I can get things done faster and actually enjoy the process. Not to mention allow mini miracles to swoop in and help propel me further forward on the path to my goals & dreams.
The negativity cuts us off from the energy that is constantly flowing and ready to help us get whatever it is that we want. Yet I continue to indulge the Should’s, Not Enough’s, and What Will They Think’s of the fearful part of my mind.
Today, as I work to strike a thing or two off my to-do list, I am focusing on releasing the thoughts that do not serve me.