Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. – Carl Jung
This past year has been filled with long-time dreams come true. We got married, traveled to Europe for the first time together, and now own two orthodontic practices (husband being the orthodontist). Still, I felt that my dreams had not yet “happened”.
This weekend my sweet husband took me back to the resort where we got married in Sedona and we enjoyed a very peaceful, serene, reflective weekend together (I will be posting pictures on our website this week for anyone who is interested). My plan was to spend time thinking about what I would need to do in the upcoming year to make my dreams into my reality.
I used to be really sad that my dreams seemed so far away, and that no matter how much I tried to force things to move more quickly, they pretty much didn’t budge. An incredibly frustrating day-to-day struggle.
I am a much calmer person today than I was a few years ago. I still work daily on releasing negative thoughts and detrimental old beliefs. But I also have far fewer stress-induced emotional breakdowns. So we are moving in the right direction.
In our results-oriented society, I thought my dream had to be complex, or at least tangible or quantifiable. Like “I write best-selling young adult novels” or “Best-selling author”. Something that other people could acknowledge as meeting some previously defined standard of success.
I dreamed up my blog years ago as a way for me to express myself in ways that I felt my current career didn’t allow for. I wanted to be able to share my thoughts about life, and help people follow their dreams.
But there was just one problem. What was my dream? My dream couldn’t just be to inspire other people to live their dreams. How would I be qualified to guide others when I had yet to achieve something creative and also credible in my own life?
After a discussion with my husband on the night of my birthday, and a lot of time over the weekend reflecting on my life, I finally allowed myself to simplify my definition of what it would mean to achieve my dreams.
I want to feel peaceful and calm and enjoy everything I do. I want to be in the moment. I still want to share my ideas with other people, and see where genuinely being myself takes me. Taming the fear of whether it would be good enough or deemed successful.
I don’t need to be a young adult author. I finally admitted that I was chasing that dream as a way of having a legitimate dream that could be pointed to as me doing something productive with my time. I no longer need external validation of how I spend my time or to define success for me.
I have also had a vision of what my “ideal day” would be for a long time. I now realize that I already have the power to design my days. Nothing is perfect, but I get to decide what I spend my time on in any given moment. I get to decide if I will choose to enjoy the moment.
A Dream In a Moment
This morning, I made myself a delicious green juice, and then started cleaning up the kitchen. I felt like I was cheating myself out of a peaceful moment by not taking the time to sit down and enjoy the beverage I had just made.
I went and got the book I started over the weekend, set my meditation timer for 10 minutes, and sat down to enjoy the green juice and to finish a chapter. And it was so nice!
I intend to create more moments like that throughout my days. I want the house to be tidy and I want everything on my list to be done, but I want to feel joy throughout the day even more. Everything will get done.
I am working on prioritizing my tasks to allow myself time to work through my task backlog and also get our house tidy once and for all, time to devote to my blog, and time to take care of myself and my emotional and spiritual well-being.
As I continue on my journey towards a more simplified and streamlined life, I am so happy to finally say that I am already living the life of my dreams. And I look forward to continue to share what I find inspiring here.